• Susan Pennington, LAMFT

Five Ways to Create a Better Connection with Your Significant Other


marriage counseling couple connecting

1. Synchronize you and your partner’s nervous system everyday! After a long day away from home, make sure the first person who comes home finds their partner immediately. Hug them for at least a couple of minutes and until you both reach a relaxed state. Recent neuropsychological research has shown that when doing this, we synchronize our nervous systems and engage our parasympathetic nervous system to begin the process of “rest and digest”. Additionally, we will feel closer and more open to communication.


2. Actively listen to your partner each time they try to connect with you. Throughout the day, your partner will attempt to engage you in conversation, or sit closer, or become curious about what you are doing. Don’t miss these small cues! Be open to the connection and listen attentively! Be curious about what your partner is talking about. These small, yet powerful, exchanges will ensure that your partner believes that they are important to you.


3. Steel sharpens steel! Have a fulfilling life as the wonderful individual you are. Make sure that you are fulfilling your own wishes, desires and dreams. A person who makes sure their own needs are fulfilled will be a better mate. When you're not relying on others for how you feel, another's bad mood won't affect your good mood!



Intimate couple - couples counseling

4. Take a tally of your sex life! Latest figures on the number of times couples "get busy" are about two times per month. What is important to note here is that every couple is unique. The key questions to ask to are: Do you feel close? Are you both satisfied? Are you making special time for each other so a fire can ignite?


5. On average, couples experience problems for six years before they consider couples counseling. Don’t let small grievances build. If you tend to suppress negative feelings with your partner, they can build over months and even years and make huge chasms between you. Find different ways you can communicate issues that arise quickly, gently and lovingly. The sooner the better!


Could your relationship benefit from couples counseling? Our Boise counselors are ready to help! Give us a call at 208-991-4696.

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